Drei
by Mieren
Summary: Forge tried to help Kurt with his teleportation range again. Something went wrong... (Note: This may get *very* weird.)
1. Oops

Drei

By Mieren

"I don't know why I ever agreed to this," Kurt moaned, tugging halfheartedly at the electronic bands circling his wrists.  A moment later, he started poking at the device strapped to his chest.

"It's perfectly safe this time," Forge assured him, fiddling with a large computer nearby.  "This time, the dimensional portals can't stay open."

"But the creatures…"

"Nightcrawler, relax," Xavier said calmly.  "You won't be delayed in your traveling this time.  They won't even know you're there."

"What if they do?" Kurt wailed.  "Wolverine isn't even here!"

"Chill, dude!" Forge laughed.  "It can't handle two people yet.  Besides, I told you.  This one is safe!"

"So was the last one," Kurt muttered.

Beast straightened up from behind the large computer Forge had been working on earlier, a bundle of wires hanging from his enormous blue hand.  He grinned and waggled the mass of wires at the group.

"Finished," he announced.

"Kurt, it will be fine," Storm soothed.

"All it does is amplify your powers," Forge explained, adjusting the settings on the device strapped to Kurt's chest.  "We'll start it on a low setting."

"How low?" Kurt asked suspiciously.

"We'll just triple your power to begin with.  Instead of jumping two miles, you'll be up to six.  You can make it all the way to the school gym from here.  What d'ya say?"

"I'm not sure.  I have a bad feeling about this."

"You'll be fine," Scott said.

"Go for it," Jean encouraged.

"Contact us on your communicator when you get there," Xavier said.

"If I get there…"

Kurt sighed and looked around the room at the six mutants waiting on him expectantly.  Grumbling about his life being in the hands of a mad scientist, he walked a few paces to the side so he would be standing clear of his observers.  He began his countdown.

"Drei… zwei… ein!"

BAMF!

A huge blast of sulfurous smoke was left in his wake accompanied by a flash of light and electronic crackling.  The computer Beast was standing by began sizzling, smoke rising from the circuit boards.

Forge cursed loudly and ran to the computer, working on it frantically as he attempted to correct the damage.

"Professor!" Jean cried.  "Did he make it?  Is he okay?"

"I… I'm not sure," Xavier admitted.  "I can sense he's in the gym, but he's confused and panicking."

"I'll get the van ready," Scott called over his shoulder as he ran from the lab.

After a few tense moments of silence, Kurt's voice fizzled through on the communicator.  A collective sigh of relief resounded through the group.

"Professor?" Kurt called tentatively, sounding as though he had suffered from a massive shock.  "Something went wrong."

"It's all right, Kurt.  We're on the…"

"Forge!  Ich werde Sie töten!"

Everyone jumped at the hostility in his voice, shocked at the death threat as much as the sudden change in temperament.  He had sounded so unsure only moments before.  Now, he was so furious he had reverted to German.

"Just bring the van," Kurt said, sounding very frustrated.

"You should probably go get him before he gets more worked up," Beast suggested.

"Indeed," Xavier said.  "Kurt, Scott and I will be there in a few minutes."

*     *     *

The ride to the school was made in silence, Scott driving almost twice the posted speed limit.  Xavier was too lost in thought to notice.  He couldn't seem to focus clearly on Kurt's mind or emotional state.  His thoughts were jumbled and often conflicting.  His physical location was a blur as well.  Though obviously in the gym, his exact position was uncertain, smeared across fully a quarter of the space.

Once the van was parked, Scott barely managed to help Xavier out of it.  He was clearly upset as he walked beside the professor up to the gym entrance.  They found the doors unlocked.  Pulling the huge metal door open, Scott froze, jaw dropping and eyebrows shooting towards his hairline.

Confused by Scott's reaction, Xavier moved his wheelchair around him to see what had shocked the young man so badly.  For a moment while he was still moving, he didn't understand why Scott was gawping.  Kurt was a little ways into the gym, walking towards them.  Once fully in the doorway, Xavier froze with wide eyes, his mouth frozen open in the beginning of a greeting.

True, Kurt was walking towards them, looking extremely irritated.  Several paces behind him, a spitting image was following, openly scowling darkly.  A little ways to the side, a third blue figure was also closing in, fiddling uncertainly with his tail as he approached.

"Triple my power, my ass!" the blue figure in back yelled.

"He tripled something," the lead figure growled.

"Yeah, us," the final Kurt muttered.

"Good thing he set the power on three and not two point five," Scott said weakly.  All three Kurts looked vaguely horrified.

"That's not funny!"

Xavier snapped out of his shock and spoke up before a real argument could arise.

"Come on.  We need to get back to the institute.  Forge should be able to correct the malfunction of his device."

"I'm not really sure I want him near me with his gizmos again," one of them muttered.

"The last one was bad enough."

"The fur on my chest melted when that thing exploded!"

"Stop complaining.  We're in the same state, you know."

"How can you three be arguing?  You're the same person!" Scott said incredulously.

"Bite us!"

BAMF!

BAMF!

BAMF!

Scott stared, shell-shocked, at the now empty area that the three blue teens had been standing only an instant before.

"Professor?" he asked, stunned.

"They're in the van," Xavier answered numbly.  He slowly maneuvered his wheelchair around and started back towards the vehicle.  "We should get back."

"Yeah," Scott mumbled.  "Man, Kitty's going to freak."

To Be Continued…

Couldn't help it.  I just started watching X-Men Evolution and I absolutely had to do a fic.  Tell me what you think!  R&R!

Translations:

Drei – Three (really creative title here  ^_^;)

Drei… zvei… ein. – three… two… one.

Ich werde Sie töten! – I will kill you!


	2. Homecoming

Drei

Part 2

By Mieren

Forge had gotten so worked up while waiting for Scott and Xavier to return with Kurt that he had effectively gathered the attention of several of the X-Men at the institute.  After learning what had happened, Kitty, Rogue and Evan joined the rest of the group that had gathered in the front lobby, waiting to see if he was okay.

"Forge, calm down," Beast soothed.  "I'm sure he's fine."

"But he was so upset!" Forge said, clearly bothered.  "What if I hurt him?"

"Dude, what exactly happened?" Evan asked.

"I was trying to help him with his teleportation.  The device shorted out."

"Tell me that none of those things, like, escaped again!" Kitty cried.

"They couldn't have," Forge said.  "All I did was amplify his power."

"It is a little more complicated than that," Xavier said, coming through the front door.  Jean and Kitty jumped, startled.  Scott followed closely behind the professor, glancing over his shoulder to where the three blue mutants were still arguing in the van.

"Where is he?" Kitty asked.  "Is he hurt?"

"Uh, just some singed fur," Scott temporized.

"Singed nothing!" Kurt snapped, storming through the door.  "It's melted!"

"That gizmo of yours exploded!" a second fuzzball yelled, coming in directly behind the first, the third behind him.

"When I let you triple my powers, this is NOT what I agreed to!"

The three trailed off their joint rant, noticing that they had a mortified audience that seemed too stunned to understand what they were saying.  Evan was the first to regain control over his tongue, voicing what everyone was thinking.

"Holy shit."

"No kidding," Rogue agreed numbly.  "One of him was bad enough."

"We heard that!"

"And to think that I was originally going to set it at fifteen," Forge said weakly.  The Kurts gave him a dirty look.

"That's it!  You two hold him down.  I'll beat him up."

"Sounds good to us."

"Kurt," Xavier reprimanded.

The three blue mutants glanced at each other briefly before one of them spoke.

"Which one of us do you want to yell at?  At least two of us are going to be busy for awhile," he said.  They were all looking at Forge and a good deal of knuckle cracking was going on as they stretched their tridactyl hands.

"Don't worry!" Forge said, trying to calm down the three angry mutants.  "I can fix this."

"He's right, Kurt.  You must remain calm," Storm soothed.

"I just wonder what will happen to your memories," Xavier pondered almost to himself.  "Narrowing three perspectives down to one may create stress on your mind."

"That's funny, I was wondering something too," Kurt said.

"Yeah," another joined in.  "If the three of us were to have wild, kinky, furry sex, would it be incest or just extreme masturbation?"

"That's it!  I'm out of here," Evan said, throwing his arms up into the air as he quickly made his escape.

"Me too," Rogue said.  "I'm not liking where this conversation is headed."

"I think I'll let you decide the answer to your conundrum on your own," Jean muttered, following her departing peers.

"Ew!  Kurt!  How can you even think something like that?" Kitty cried, running after Jean.

"See?  I told you it would creep her out!"

"And everyone else."

"I'm just worried that Scott is still here."

"I just realized that I have homework," Scott said, looking uncomfortable as he backed away from the group.  "If you need anything, I'll be in my room."

"Was that an offer?"

"I think it was."

"Cool.  A foursome."

That was the final straw.  Scott ran for it, determined to protect his sanity and possibly virginity, depending on how serious the blue fuzzballs where.  Xavier gaped for the second time that day.

"Kurt," he began slowly.  "When exactly did you hold that conversation on your plans to tease Kitty?"

There was a momentary silence while the three Kurts stared at each other.  Emotions flickered over their faces.  As one, they turned back to face the four mutants waiting on their response.

"We can hear each other, professor."

"Telepathy?" Forge interrupted incredulously, dark eyes wide.  "You mean you developed another gift?"

"Is that even possible?" Storm asked softly.

"I don't think so.  We can only hear each other."

"Fascinating," Xavier murmured.  "Kurt's mind couldn't fully be separated when his physical form was tripled."

"Man, if Forge had set that thing of his at fifteen, we'd go insane!"

"This is bad enough."

"I'm sure it is," Beast placated.  "It's going to be rough on everyone involved.  I'm still trying to figure out how the professor is going to afford to feed you three."

"Hey!"

"That was totally uncalled for."

"I don't eat that much!  I can't speak for those two…"

"What was that?"

"I think he just volunteered to be the one to sleep on the couch."

"Hey!  What about the orgy?"

"Three of us cannot fit in our bed."

"Stacked up, we can."

"I am NOT hearing this," Storm groaned.  "I leave you three to deal with them."

"Thanks," Forge muttered sarcastically.

"Perhaps this should be one of the conversations you hold among yourselves," Xavier suggested.

"What fun would that be?"

"What was that about holding ourselves?"

"I think it was a suggestion."

"Spoken like a true virgin," Beast interrupted before it could get any worse.  The Kurts sputtered and glared.  Were they not covered in blue fur, they would have been bright red.  Beast simply offered them an innocent look.

"Kurt, why don't you head back to the lab with Forge and Beast," Xavier interrupted, rubbing his temples.  He was just beginning to realize the full extent of the impact three Kurts was going to have on the institute and it worried him.

To Be Continued…

Sorry the sections are short.  I'm just having fun here.  Oh, notice that the rating went up.  I decided that the Kurts would be more fun if they were out of character and kinda perverted.

Future note, I may start calling them by separate names for my own sanity while writing.  They will be referred to as Kurt, Wagner and Nightcrawler.  I absolutely have to be able to tell them apart while writing or I'm going to go nuts.

R&R!


	3. Feeding frenzy

Drei

Part 3

By Mieren

Beast paced silently, his massive furry hands tightening on the pages he held.  The test results explained so much about what had gone wrong with Forge's experiment and why Kurt was acting as strangely as he was.  He was so deep in thought that he jumped when Xavier cleared his throat gently to get his attention.

"What did you find?" he asked, folding his hands in his lap.  Beast sighed and began his report.

"Basically, when Forge tripled Kurt's power, he altered the phase shift frequency of his teleportation.  Kurt wasn't prepared for his ability to be altered in such a fashion.  With the frequency tripled as it had been, his mental signal was branched out mid teleport."

"I see," Xavier murmured thoughtfully.  He glanced up to study the nervous blue mutant in front of him.  "There's something more you're not telling me."

"Yes," Beast admitted.  "Kurt's mind actually was successfully split three directions.  So in actuality, there are three of him.  Despite your earlier thoughts on the matter, their minds are not linked.  But since they are the same person, their brainwaves are identical."

"Go on," Xavier encouraged, certain he was about to hear something that would cause trouble for the small teleporting mutant.

"Kurt's power is based partially on manipulation of various types of energy, including electromagnetic fields, and his brain picks up on sources of power," Beast sighed.  "It's part of the reason that he's never accidentally teleported into a wall.  He can subconsciously sense them."  He paused again, unsure of how he was going to tell the professor that something was seriously wrong with one of his students.  "All living beings have detectible brainwaves.  Since his mind has been tripled, it's silently broadcasting his thoughts in triplicate.  And as I said before, the three of them are the same person."

"That's why they can hear each other," Xavier mulled.  Beast shook his head.

"There's more to it than that.  The brainwave patterns are identical.  It's causing a type of interference with his thoughts.  Feedback that's distorting his mind and altering his personality.  That's why he's been so moody and perverse since the accident.  We're not sure, but it could become worse.  He could quite conceivably become uncoordinated or even lose control of all motor functions.  If we inform him of what's going on, he may be able to control his thoughts to some degree."

"They've shown no discernable difficulties with coordination so far," Xavier protested.

"That's because the three of them have been doing the same thing since the accident," Beast explained.  "First, they were all in shock.  Then they were all arguing with each other and then with Forge.  After that, they proceeded to terrorize the lab.  Speaking of which, repairs are now necessary.  And a cleaning crew.  A chocolate éclair is imbedded in the wall.  Trust me, don't ask.  As long as they're together engaging in similar activities, it shouldn't be a problem.  However, if they engage in different activities, there may be difficulties in keeping their thoughts separated."

Xavier stared at his hands, frowning slightly.  "Will this mental distortion be permanent?" he asked slowly.

"We don't believe so.  Once we get him back down to a single person, theoretically his personality will return to normal when the feedback disappears."

"I see," Xavier said, relieved.  He glanced at Beast one last time as he prepared to leave, pausing when he saw a hesitant expression still plaguing the other mutant's face.  He sighed wearily.  "What else?"

"You might want to stock the kitchen.  We accidentally tripled his metabolism."

"Wonderful."

*     *     *

A group of X-Men were watching in something akin to horror as the three blue fuzzballs worked over the kitchen.  Every restaurant in Bayville that delivered had been called several times.  Empty takeout boxes from every conceivable restaurant littered the table and floor, and the three bottomless pits were only just starting on the pizza delivery.  They had already put down seventeen of the sixty extra large pizzas they had ordered.

"Lucky for him that the bills are sent to the institute," Rogue muttered.

"Lucky for us that he couldn't fit the fridge in his mouth," Jean countered.

Even leaned over and nudged Scott in the ribs.

"They're going to explode," Evan snickered.

"It's only a wafer thin mint," Scott said with a heavy British accent.  Kitty started laughing so hard she choked on her tongue.  Kurt tried to flip her off, but since he only had three fingers, his attempt turned out to be unsuccessful.

"Twenty bucks says they don't make it through all of them," Even whispered.

"You're on," Scott chuckled.  "Only another forty-three to go."

"Taking bets now?" Jean whispered, grinning.  Cyclops arched one eyebrow at her and smirked.  "Okay then.  Twenty dollars says that Logan will have a coronary on the spot when he sees this."

"I'm not taking that one.  I'll lose."

"I have fifteen for Storm blowing a gasket when she sees the mess," Kitty whispered, eying the knee-deep piles of containers filling the kitchen.

"Not taking that one either," Scott snorted.

"I will," Rogue said, folding her arms across her chest.  "I say she'll make Forge clean it.  She's kinda ticked at him, after all."

"Hey," Scott interrupted.  "Isn't Logan due back today?"

"I'll get the camera," Jean offered.

To Be Continued…

Okay.  I'm just having way too much fun here.  Sorry it's short.  I did this on a quick break in all the junk I have to do.  Anything in particular anyone wants to see?  Any suggestions?  R&R!

And yes, I once again quoted Monty Python and the notorious wafer thin mint.  ^_^


	4. Wolverine

Drei

Part 4

By Mieren

Half an hour later, Evan paid Scott twenty dollars, still aghast that the three puffy blue boys had not only finished the pizzas, but had ordered another two dozen along with three of everything off of the local Chinese restaurant's menu. Kitty and Rogue had called their bet a draw. Storm had indeed exploded when she saw the mess, but she had also ended up making Forge clean up the chaotic, greasy mess despite his protests that his time would be better spent in the lab trying to 'fix' Kurt.

The fuzzballs had mysteriously disappeared from the kitchen when they were done eating, clearly avoiding the responsibility of cleaning the chaotic mess they had created. Having wandered up from the lab for a snack, Beast could only stare in shock at the piles of licked-clean boxes that filled the large room. He gingerly began helping Forge with the work, wary of getting grease in his fur but at the same time wanting the young genius free to work in the lab. The sooner they got Kurt back to normal, the safer it would be for the rest of the mansion.

"I was thinking," Forge said as he stuffed another stack of pizza boxes into an oversized garbage bag. "If we reversed the polarity of my device and reduced the amplitude and frequency…"

"That will take a lot of rewiring," Hank said, sighing. He hefted a few filled bags over his shoulder to haul out to the dumpster. "And we still need to do repairs. The motherboard needs to be replaced."

"Couldn't fix it, huh?"

"What did you expect? It has a spork imbedded in it."

"Any luck with the CD ROM?"

"Yeah. I finally managed to get the rubber chicken out."

"Did you get around to the monitor too?" Forge asked. Hank froze in his tracks.

"What's wrong with the monitor?" he groaned.

"It's filled with butterscotch taffy."

Beast dropped his head and sighed, chin resting against his chest. "I *told* you he'd get mad if we ran that last test."

"How was I supposed to know he'd freak out if he was five seconds late to eat?" Forge asked incredulously. He got a flat look in return and he grimaced. "Never mind."

* * *

Wolverine stomped into the mansion, looking to ring a certain fluffy blue mutant's neck. His parking space in the garage had been dug up to create a four-foot deep hole, which had then been filled with expired baby food and covered with aluminum foil painted to match the garage floor. His radiator was filled with moldy carrot paste and someone was going to die. Slowly and painfully.

"ELF!" he roared.

Muffled giggles arose from a number of areas around him and he quickly became suspicious. He sniffed the air to pinpoint locations and promptly gagged at the smell of the rancid paste covering him. A poorly hidden snort sounded off to his left and he spun to face his soon to be skewered audience. No one was there. He blinked in confusion before storming further into the mansion to look for the certain someone who was about to be made into a fuzzy blue rug. He didn't see Jean floating high above him, video camera in hand. He was so angry that he didn't notice her following him, either.

Knowing the habits of the fuzzball, Logan headed straight for the kitchen stalking up to the wiry figure that had half crawled into the fridge and lifted him by the scruff of his neck. He violently shook the figure as he began ranting.

"What the fuck were you thinking?!?" he roared.

Golden eyes blinked up at him lazily and a furry blue shoulder shrugged, unconcerned.

"I did not do it, Herr Logan," he said calmly, casually biting into a slice of pizza in his hand that had somehow escaped the earlier feeding frenzy. "Kurt did."

"What are you talking about?" Wolverine roared. "Training room! Now! We're not leaving until you've lost at least two limbs."

"Scheisse! Why am I being punished for what Kurt did?"

Logan's eye twitched. "Then who exactly are you?" he growled sarcastically.

"I'm Wagner!"

"What?" Logan said intelligently.

"If you want, I'll take you to Kurt! Just leave me out of it! And put me down! You're getting that goop in my fur!"

Reluctantly, Logan set the furball down. He had to restrain himself from just skewering the glaring mutant but he did allow himself to grind his teeth audibly.

"And where, exactly, is Kurt?"

"With Nightcrawler."

Logan began talking to himself in his head. _Deep breath. In. Out. Repeat process. Do not kill. Do… Not… Kill. Do not make a mess in Ororo's kitchen. She'll fry whoever's at fault. Metal is a great conductor. Damn._

"Come on," he grated, deciding that the fuzzy elf had lost his mind. "We're going to go talk to Chuck."

Golden eyes narrowed slightly in irritation, but the fuzzy mutant complied, following Wolverine out of the kitchen and down the hall, passing by the room that contained the almighty entertainment center in the process. Logan caught a glint of white as something was tossed to the blue teen following him. Two streaks of blue shot out of the doorway to their right. Hooting and mad laughter echoed loudly in the hall as three identical blue blurs circled him at impossible speeds before escaping in puffs of sulfurous smoke. Still in shock, Logan could only stare at the spot where he had last seen three Kurts just before they disappeared. Several seconds ticked by in silence before he realized that he had just been mummified in toilet paper.

"I don't know what's going on and I don't want to," he said in a flat tone. "I think I need to search Canada a little longer."

When he turned, he found Jean grinning at him behind a video camera. Sighing, he brushed past her and proceeded towards the garage and his poor, abused motorcycle. After pulling the slimed vehicle out of the vat of spoiled baby food, and spending a few hours getting the goop off of his otherwise flawless bike, he started up the sleek machine and gunned it. So help him, he would escape before the fuzzy blue monsters multiplied again.

To Be Continued…

Sorry about that. I've always wanted to see Wolverine TP'ed. I couldn't resist. ^_^ Next stop, the brotherhood! R&R!


	5. Big bad fuzzies

Drei

Part 5

By Mieren

Three suspicious blue shadows darted out of the mansion, virtually invisible in the early morning hours. A few simple teleports later found them at the brotherhood's house. A handful of seconds and some muffled snickering later, the fuse box was history and the one light that was still on in the house fizzled out.

"What the hell, yo," Toad's voice rang out from indoors.

Still grinning, the three fuzzy elves scattered to surround the house. Once in position, Kurt started the group out by softly letting out a long, mournful howl, managing to sound exactly like a wolf. Rahne would have been envious. Inside, Toad scrambled to his feet, knocking over the chair he had been sitting in with a loud thud.

"Man, this is some crazy stuff," Toad muttered, perfectly audible to the blue mutants' delicate ears. His voice was slightly strained. "Ain't no wolves in city limits, yo."

Nightcrawler followed suit by issuing the second howl while Wagner ran noisily past the window nearest the slimeball on all fours, growling loudly. It was apparently enough to frightened the scummy mutant into shrieking and running from the room, yelling for the others. There was a loud thud as he ran into something, probably a wall.

"Watch where you're going!" Tabby yelled. "Why are you running around in the dark anyways?"

"Power's out," Toad panted. "And there's things outside, yo."

"Things?" Boom Boom asked skeptically.

"Wolves, yo." The walking explosion sighed audibly.

"Look," she said reasonably. "We're in a city. There are no wolves…"

Tabby stopped, blue eyes staring straight for the window where Wagner had just run past again. Nightcrawler howled again, voice ringing clearly through the otherwise silent darkness. When the cry began to tone down, Kurt started up again. Wagner rammed the house, causing both mutants to scream. By this time, they had gathered the attention of the rest of the house.

"What the hell are you two doing down here?" Lance demanded, flipping a light switch. He paused, some of the anger leaving his voice when he found the power out. "What's going on?"

"Wolves," Tabby said, her voice trembling slightly.

"Wolves," Pietro repeated, coming into the room just behind Fred. He sounded rather disgusted. "Even if there were wolves, why are you cowering?"

"I, uh," Tabby managed.

"Pathetic."

"They could be rabid," Blob supplied, defending Tabby. "Healthy ones don't attack people."

"How would you know that?" Pietro demanded. "You don't know anything."

"Actually, he's right," Lance grudgingly admitted. "They only attack if they're rabid or starving to death."

Pietro groaned. "Even if they are, they're out there and we're in here," he said slowly, as though he were explaining it to a slow child.

As he said that, Nightcrawler rammed the front door. A barrage of cursing could be heard from within the large, beaten house. Kurt let loose an ear-piercing shriek.

"This is ridiculous," Lance snapped. "Toad, Blob. Go find some sort of light. Candles, flashlights, torches, I don't care. Pietro, go find whatever's outside and bring it in here. Boom Boom and I will kill it."

"Why me?" Tabby asked.

"Because you can blow it up."

Pietro vanished upstairs in a burst of speed, grabbing a blanket off of Blob's bed to wrap around whatever he caught. He didn't relish the idea of being bitten. It took several minutes for Toad and Blob to find and light a kerosene lamp from the garage. Boom Boom readied one of her largest explosions ever and waited to throw it at whatever Pietro produced.

Despite his earlier derisive comments, Quicksilver hesitated before venturing outside. The chilling howls, door ramming and clawing at the windows was starting to get to him. He'd have to catch whatever was out there one at a time. Throwing the door open, he dashed into the blackness and returned a millisecond later with something trapped in a blanket, thrashing in his arms. Blob was quick to slam the door shut behind him as he threw his burden onto the floor in front of the nervous blond.

Wagner teleported to safety an instant before Boom Boom created a large crater in the floor, blanket pieces and shrapnel flying across the room. The blue fuzzy mutant grinned from his place on the wall, watching as they approached the charred hole carefully. They didn't even notice their smirking observer.

"Did we get it?" Tabby asked weakly.

Wagner casually leaned over and blew out the kerosene lamp, plunging the room into darkness once more. Pietro and Lance cursed. Toad screamed. Tabby began throwing explosives around the room, creating small bursts of light that never lit up the area enough for any of the five mutants to see what was in there with them. They did, however, catch glimpses of glowing golden eyes in the shadows.

Loosing a menacing growl, Wagner tackled Toad, earning himself yet another shriek. To add to the confusion, Nightcrawler jumped in through the window, sending shattered glass across the floor. He was nearly hit with one of Boom Boom's explosives. Kurt rammed the front door to more screaming from Tabby, tumbling inside easily since Blob had neglected to close the door properly.

With Pietro and Lance's help, Todd managed to pin Wagner long enough for Fred and Tabby to relight the kerosene lamp. He offered them a fanged grin.

"Blue!" Tabby yelled, visibly angry. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Figures those X geeks were behind this," Lance said angrily.

"If it's just the freak, yo, then who are the other two?" Toad asked. Blob held the lamp up higher to find the other circling menaces.

"Nobody here but us fuzzy blue geckos," Nightcrawler chuckled sinisterly, coming into the light beneath Kurt, who was crawling along the ceiling, unnoticed. Shocked, the brotherhood lost their grip on Wagner, who scurried to stand beside Nightcrawler.

"Holy shit," Pietro cried out. "There's two of 'em!"

"Man, this just ain't right, yo," Toad managed, his voice shaking slightly.

"Two?" Kurt asked, swinging into view right in front of Blob, hanging from the light fixture by his tail. "Are you sure about that?"

While the mutants below descended into absolute chaos, Kurt blew out the kerosene lamp, his grin disappearing into the gloom. Screams could be heard from the brotherhood house for many hours.

* * *

Kitty fazed through the door into Kurt's room to wake up the fuzzballs for breakfast. The rest of the mansion had already eaten, having moved their own breakfasts an hour earlier so they could avoid the feeding frenzy. After what happened at dinner last night, they were afraid to eat in the same room with them. It had been like throwing a porterhouse steak into a tank full of piranhas. Everyone had to count their fingers afterwards to make sure they were all still there. When they were _finally_ full in the early hours of the morning, they had mysteriously vanished from the mansion, returning just before dawn.

She froze just inside the room, staring in shock at what she found. All three blue teens were indeed stacked on the bed in a tangle of limbs. She almost ran away, revolted by the images her mind happily supplied to torment her. She paused in her escape when she noticed that they were all dressed. Even if it was only boxers and baggy white shirts, they were dressed.

Shaking her head, she started for the fuzzy tangle, pausing just short of shaking one shoulder. From the other side of the room, she hadn't noticed, but this close it was unmistakable. A low rumble was issuing from the sleeping mutants. They purred in their sleep. One of them snorted and shifted, causing the other two to automatically move to accommodate him. As one, they started purring again. Kitty grinned, unable to help thinking that they resembled nothing more than three overgrown blue kittens. It was absolutely adorable.

"That is, like, so cute," she whispered. A little louder, she ventured to wake them with a simple word. "Breakfast."

BAMF!  
BAMF!  
BAMF!

"Well," Kitty said, coughing around the thick plumes of sulfurous smoke left in their wake. "That was easy."

Somewhere downstairs, Ororo screamed.

To Be Continued…

Just wait. It's going to get much worse for poor Kurt. Or should I have written his name in plural? No matter. R&R!


	6. Honey, I shrunk the elves

Drei

Part 6

By Mieren

"I don't want to do this again!" Kurt whined, pulling at the device strapped to his chest that linked him to Wagner and Nightcrawler.  "There will be nine of us this time!"

"No there won't," Forge assured the three blue fuzzballs.  "The device on your chest… uh, chests, will force the tree of you to stay together during teleportation.  The signals will be held in phase and reduced to a third of the original signal.  Understand?"

"We understand that you strapped a bomb to us," Wagner groused.

"It will be fine," Beast interrupted before an all out war broke out in the lab.  Again.  The previous attempt to force them into the equipment had resulted in Forge dropped into the lake with a minnow shoved up each nostril.  He had not been amused.

"Come on, man.  What's the worst that could happen?" Evan goaded, grinning.  Kurt scowled at him.

"You think it's so funny, lets strap this to you and see what happens!"

"No thanks," Evan smirked.  "The last thing we need around here is a _pointy_ fuzzy blue elf."  Scott leaned over to whisper in his ear.

"You might not want to tease them," he said softly.  "Just remember.  We still haven't found Ray or Sam."

 "Oh yeah."

"Just go for it, guys," Jean called, purposely catching their attention before they could descend on her boyfriend for defending Spyke.  "You have to do it sooner or later.  You can't stay like that."

"Prove it," Wagner demanded.

"I can only date one guy at a time," Kitty said slyly.  Everyone in the room turned to stare at her.  The fuzzballs gaped for a moment before going into a huddle, talking rapidly.  When they straightened, they were grinning just a little too wide.

"Actually," Nightcrawler drawled.  "If we…"

"DON'T EVEN THINK IT!" Kitty shrieked, flushing to the roots of her hair.  "If you continue that thought for even one more second, I'll phase your brains right out of your skulls!"

"And she calls us perverts," Kurt chuckled.

"Yeah," Nightcrawler seconded.  "How'd she know what we were thinking?"

"You do it like this," Ororo said to Kitty.  She turned to the blue elves with a look that could only be described as sinister.  "All of you knock it off this instant or Kitty will be the designated chef for the next month."

"We'll be good!" they chorused.

"I don't know whether to be thankful or insulted," Kitty muttered.

"While we're at it, where are Berserker and Cannonball?" Ororo continued.  The fuzzballs exchanged worried looks.

"We tied them up with pantyhose and gave them to our sisters," Kurt said.

"With instructions to give them makeovers," Wagner contributed.

"Waxing included," Nightcrawler finished off.

"How did you get them to Germany?" Beast asked, impressed.  "Surely you couldn't have teleported there."

Wagner shrugged.  "Fed Ex."

"We used Priority Overnight," Kurt said in their defense.

"I'm surprised you didn't send Roberto," Scott chuckled drolly.

"You try forcing Sunspot into a box!" Nightcrawler huffed.

"He's got a point," Jean conceded, trying hard not to laugh.  It was well known how strong Sunspot could be once he flared up.  "But you'll notice that he's been hiding for a while now."

"That would be because of what we threatened to do with the peanut butter," Kurt snickered.

"I'm not even going to ask.  I don't want to know," Scott said, looking genuinely afraid.  Xavier pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"Storm, take the Blackbird and retrieve Misters Crisp and Guthrie," he said, voice sounding a little strained.

"Yes, Professor," she said, walking out of the room.  "Good luck with… you know."

"So guys, are you ready?" Beast asked.

"No," they chorused.

"When the green light comes on, you need to teleport," Forge said, repeating himself for tenth time.

"Ja, we know," Kurt sighed.  "I grab them and 'port to the other side of the room.  Two of us will blow up and only one will reappear."

"You're not going to blow up," Forge said patiently.  "You'll simply be a single person again."

"With three heads and six arms," Nightcrawler muttered under his breath.

"Does that mean we'd have three…"

"KURT!" Kitty yelled, bright red.  Scott coughed, trying to cover a chuckle.

"She's already screaming our name," Wagner said, smirking.

"You'd think she'd be more interested in three tails," Jean offered innocently.

"Jean!" Kitty and Scott yelled in tandem.  Beast and Evan were attempting, unsuccessfully, to conceal their laughter.  Xavier sighed loudly and pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on.

Rogue, who had remained utterly silent until then, finally spoke up.

"Forge, turn on the machine.  Blue boys, y'all better 'port before I drain ya and drag ya across the room myself."

"Four heads, eight arms and a set of breasts," Evan supplied.  He and Beast burst out laughing again.

"You're not helping," Nightcrawler groused.

"Was I supposed to?"

"Keep in mind I know where you live."

Rogue pulled off a glove.  They shut up.

"That's better," she said.  "Forge?"

"It's on," the genius said.  "I just started it.  The light will come on when it's fully charged.  That should be in a few seconds.  Ready?"

"Do we have a choice?" Wagner asked.

"No," came the unified answer from around the room.

Kurt reached out to grip Wagner and Nightcrawler's shoulders, his golden eyes fixed on the light.  It flashed green.  Squeezing his eyes shut, Kurt teleported.

A burst of smoke flared on the far end of the room, equipment clattering to the floor noisily.  The heap of electronics and fur continued to smoke heavily, obscuring any details from observing eyes.  The other X-Men were already moving forward to see if the experiment had worked.  A soft, strangely high and extremely pissed voice sounded from the smoking pile.

"Forge, ich hasse sie."

"Ich werde ihre leber hinunter ihre kehle schieben."

"Ich werde auf ihren knochen kauen."

Hearing one profession of hatred and two bloody threats, they assumed that the experiment had failed and there were three fuzzy elves sitting on the floor.  Using her telekinesis, Jean forced the smoke from the still smoldering pile.  The gathered mutants all gaped, except for Forge.  The genius spun on his heels and ran from the room, fearing for his safety.

There were still three fuzzy blue elves.  The only problem was that they were all five years old.

To Be Continued…

For any of you who didn't see that coming, shame on you!  More to come soon, if I can manage it.  R&R!!!  Oh, and here are the translations to what the fuzzy-butts were saying.  I used babelfish, so if anything is wrong, blame the translator.  I don't speak a word of German.  ^_^;

Ich hasse sie. – I hate you.

Ich werde ihre leber hinunter ihre kehle schieben. – I'm going to shove your liver down your throat.

Ich werde auf ihren knochen kauen. – I'm going to gnaw on your bones.


	7. Chia what?

Drei

Part 7

By Mieren

One rumpled, messy and severely pissed Tabitha Smith set off a charge to open the front door to the mansion, stalking in as though she owned the place.  Jamie and Evan, who had been watching TV prior to her abrupt entrance, turned to look at her.  She was red with anger.  Or red, anyways.  Someone had apparently taken it upon himself set off a paint bomb in her room.

"Where are they?" she demanded.

"What happened to you?" Evan asked.

"Someone threw a gallon of paint containing a lit cherry bomb through the window," Boom Boom hissed.  "Someone that had a fuzzy blue hand."  Jamie snickered and Evan grinned.

"So you've seen them?"

"I know there are three of him!" she snapped.  "Now where are they?"  Evan grinned, looking forward to seeing the look on her face when she saw the fluffy five-year-olds.

"I'll show you," Evan said, getting up.  "Just don't blow the lab up.  Otherwise we'll be stuck with three of them."  He shuddered at the thought.  "Jamie, you coming?  Forge is about to zap them again."

Jamie nodded and followed them through the mansion towards the lab, Tabby leaving red footprints as she went.  The pint size versions of the blue mutant had been so unbelievably hyper that no one really wanted to wait for Forge to beta test his machine.  It wasn't safe to wait.  They had so much energy that they didn't sleep.  Ever.  After two days of constantly fearing for their safety and sanity, the mansion at large demanded that Forge do something.  Now.  Or else.

Tabby stopped short upon entering the lab, jaw dropped.  Only coming up to her hips, three fuzzy blue children looked up at her.

"Oops," Kurt said.

"Sorry, Boom Boom," Nightcrawler seconded.

"We thought that was Toad's room," Wagner finished off.

"Actually, it was Pietro's," Tabby managed, dazed by the sight of miniature blue elves.  They were so cute that she could almost forget she was angry with them.  "He managed to outrun the blast."

"And what were you doing in his room?" Nightcrawler asked slyly.  The leer he attempted looked kind of creepy on his youthful face.  Tabby's blush was hidden by the paint.

"Is that thing ready yet?" she asked Forge.

"Yes," he said.  He had hurried to finish it after being regaled with the ballad of 'Big-Ass Lil and Yukon Pete' at three in the morning.  Until then, he hadn't believed that anyone could actually get a nosebleed from sheer depravity.  "I just have to finish the final wiring between the three of them."

"Already done," Beast said.  He too was fairly eager to get the teleporting mutant back down to one sane person.  He had been subjected to a rendition of 'Robocock and Neutron Nelly.'  His blush had been so fierce that it was visible through his fur.

"Let's get going," Storm said brightly, ushering the mini mutants to the designated porting area.  She had returned from Germany on her trip to retrieve Ray and Sam to find something hidden among her plants that caused her to shriek.  Scott and Jean had learned a little later that she had found a fully-grown and fuzzy Chia Dick.  Naturally, Scott told everyone.  Upon finding Berserker, he ceased the Chia Dick story and proceeded to tell the mansion that Ray now had fluorescent pink hair.

"I say we leave them like that," Jamie said, grinning.  "I'm tired of being the youngest."

"Do you really think that's safe?" Jean asked him.  "Were you not here yesterday?  Do you remember the slugs?  I remember the slugs."

"They were snails!" Nightcrawler protested.

"And it's called escargot," Kurt groused.

"Escargot isn't breaded and deep fried to look like shrimp!" Jean said shrilly.

"The snails used for escargot aren't plucked from my personal garden either," Storm managed icily.

"It was better than the soapy frog incident," Evan muttered.  Four hundred and seventeen frogs slicked with liquid soap had been released in his room for unknown reasons.  It had taken him a full day with the help of about a dozen Jamie clones to get them all out.

"Or the Vaseline on the toilets," Kitty griped.

"Or the dye in the toothpaste," Rogue hissed.  Her teeth were still purple.

"Or the bleach in the shampoo," Scott said drolly.  He was now blond.

"Or the two thousand fleas he released in my office," Beast growled, twisting one arm around to scratch his back.

"Or the Jello," Kitty said, her voice slowly rising to a shriek.  "How did you manage to fill my room with lime Jello?"

"Why am I glad that I no longer live here?" Tabby said under her breath.

"Because you're sane," Jean responded.

"Enough," Xavier interrupted.  "Kurt.  Wagner.  Nightcrawler.  Get ready to teleport."

"We're afraid to," Nightcrawler answered honestly.

"Why?" Forge asked.  "I've altered the settings so you'll revert to the proper age and to a single person."

"We'll be under two years old and there will be nine of us," Kurt retorted.

"Wrong," Evan countered, grinning merrily.  "You'll be a two-year-old with six arms and three heads."

"It will be fine," Xavier soothed, throwing Spyke a dirty look.

"Nein!" Wagner cried out.

"We have a bad feeling about this, Professor," Kurt said.  "We don't want to do this."

"Don't make us," Nightcrawler pleaded.

Xavier almost relented, sensing the intense fear emanating from their minds.  He reminded himself that the first two experiments had gone wrong and decided that they were panicking needlessly.

"It will be fine," he reiterated.  "Don't worry."

The blue mutants looked horrified and betrayed, but they allowed Forge to make a few minor adjustments to the equipment strapped to them.

"Okay," Forge said, stepping back.  "Go for it.  It's ready."

"Keep in mind that if… when this goes wrong, we're coming after you first," Kurt muttered in Forge's direction, reaching out to grab his duplicates' shoulders.  He squirmed slightly under his oversized clothes, hoping that they would fit properly when he reached the other side of his hop.  Closing his eyes, he imagined the other side of the room.  He teleported.

Sulfurous smoke filled the room upon reentry.  Jean and Storm worked together to clear the foul smoke as quickly as they could.  After a few seconds, they uncovered a fuzzy blue form crouched into a ball, panting heavily, golden eyes wild.  The room calmed remarkably upon noticing that he was once again his proper age.

Hearing movement in the smoldering mass behind the visible fuzzball, Storm sent a plume of air to clear up the mess.  The room went horribly still.  It turned out that both the fuzzballs and Forge were partially correct.  As Forge had said, they were the correct age.  But as Kurt had said, there were nine of them.

In a puff of dust and a myriad of cursing, both Forge and Tabitha were gone.

"Professor," one of the blue mutants managed weakly.  "Too many…"

They all collapsed, the mental stress rendering them unconscious.

To Be Continued…

Sorry.  Couldn't keep them at five years old.  I'm not very good at writing children into stories.

Note.  The title 'Drei' does mean 'three' but I was not referring to the number of Kurts.  I was referring to the constant numeral factor of the devices that Forge was playing with.

The mentioned songs 'Big-Ass Lil and Yukon Pete' and 'Robocock and Neutron Nelly' are by John Valby.  They actually exist, as scary as that is.  As far as the Chia Dick, I don't know if such a thing exists or not.  I was just messing around.  If it really does exist, I'm calling a therapist.

And finally, R&R!!!


	8. They're loose

Drei

Part 8

By Mieren

The mansion received a short hiatus as the multiplied blue mutants learned to move around again.  Unable to even vaguely tell them apart, the occupants of the institute just started pointing when they called for one of the fuzzy elves.  The Kurts, however, seemed to have no trouble whatsoever telling one another apart and appeared to be calling each other by number in German.  So far, the one they called 'Sechs' seemed to be the ringleader for undetermined reasons.

During the break from their rampaging, Forge was desperately working in his lab, trying to figure out why the experiment was perpetually going awry.  After going over the original schematics and various equations about a hundred times, he sheepishly reached out to his diagrams with a pencil and carried a one.  After that, it only took a few minor alterations in the settings to correct the continuous problem.  He told the others that the equipment ready to try again immediately.  Before he could do anything, though, the herd of Wagners had to learn to teleport accurately again.

That particular problem was rather vexing in and of itself.  The swarm of fuzzy blue elves couldn't even walk properly, let alone teleport.  That, however, didn't stop them from eating every scrap of food in the mansion, albeit messily.  Unless their movements were exactly synchronized, they tended to mirror each other's movements unintentionally.  That led to a great deal of tripping, walking into walls and accidentally stuffing food up noses.

Ororo, quite reasonably, had suggested knocking eight of them out with tranquilizers and just sending one through the teleporting process to fix the problem immediately.  Scott, having dyed his hair back to its original color, was in a rather foul mood since one of the blue fuzzballs had woken him up at four in the morning with an air horn.  A bit frazzled from the rude awakening, he suggested shooting eight of them and being done with it.  Needless to say, he sorely regretted making that suggestion.  He only got a moment's warning before it happened.

"Scott, have you ever had surgery on your colon?" Kurt asked.

"No," Scott answered slowly.

"You're about to."

The next thing Scott knew, he was surrounded by blue.  Within a few seconds, he found himself at the top of the flagpole in front of the institute, hanging by his boxers, consequently the only article of clothing he was still wearing.  Jean, after laughing hysterically and taking several pictures, eventually levitated him down.

Logan came back during the third day of there being nine fuzzballs.  He took one look at the clump of them hanging all over the common room, turned sharply on his heel and promptly left.  No one had seen him since, though rumor had it that he had acquired at least four speeding tickets on his way out of Bayville.

The following day, Forge received a death threat in the mail that looked suspiciously like Logan's handwriting.  The genius just added it to the enormous pile he had been getting from Tabby and Pietro about the various incidents involving the five year old Kurts.  The Brotherhood hadn't yet figured out that there were nine of him yet and the occupants of the mansion were placing bets on when they would find out and what exactly it was that would be done to them by the blue menaces.

In the end, no one won the Brotherhood bet jackpot.  One of the nine, suspected to be the infamous Sechs, laced the entire Boardinghouse with prolactin.  (For those of you who aren't biology freaks like the mad author, it's a hormone that causes lactation.  It's absorbed through the skin almost instantly.  Will affect both genders.  In men, it also causes impotence, buy hey, who's paying attention to that?)  Toad was the one who told the X-Men what had happened in exchange for protection from further pranks.  When the students honestly told him that they couldn't protect him from the blue menaces, he changed his offer to a bargain for food.  Eager for an explanation, Scott and Jean took him to a buffet to get him to talk.  The froggy teen seemed amused as he explained the results of that particular prank.  The amphibian nature of his mutation rendered him immune to the hormone, but no one else in the Brotherhood was so lucky.

Tabby, though extremely annoyed, had the easiest time of the lot.  She simply put some tissues down the front of her bra to absorb the mess.  Blob was similarly lucky, his mass making it look like he was just sweating.  Lance ended up locking himself in his room.  Pietro just disappeared in a flash of silver and didn't return for almost a month, wanting to make absolutely sure that the Wagner threat was over before coming back.

Following the prolactin incident, Beast started hiding all of his chemicals and various equipment in addition to locking his lab.  The last thing they needed was for the Kurts to discover the estrogen.  He was certain that if the men of the mansion started growing breasts that everyone with blue fur would be summarily killed, himself included.

While locking away the chemicals, Hank did notice that he had not reached the chemicals quite in time.  A large jar of potassium permanganate was missing.  While the purple crystals were mostly harmless in small quantities, and even an effective antiseptic, it would stain skin a dark brown for a long time, eventually wearing off over the course of a few weeks.  A large amount could be potentially dangerous.  Beast sighed, knowing that Kurt knew enough chemistry to utilize the knowledge on that particular chemical.  Knowing the mindset of the teleporting elves, he correctly assumed that someone was about to become a canvas.

The target of the blue brigade was none other than Toad.  Irritated by the fact that he was immune to the prolactin stunt, he had devised a plan to torment Todd.  His efforts resulted in Toad waking up to find his skin stained with threadlike deep brown lines from fine strokes of a concentrated permanganate solution.  The overall effect was to make him appear like the film negative to a picture of a spider web.  Or a tiger on crack.  The hopping mutant discovered his new appearance when he woke up one morning and had gone into the bathroom to take a leak.

"Hey!" Toad exclaimed, stunned.  Tabby and Blob had laughed at him for hours.  Lance still wouldn't come out of his room, even to see the striped frog.

Because his comrades were laughing, Toad decided not to tell them what he had learned from the X-Men.  That there were now nine Wagners running loose.  He'd let them find out the hard way.

To Be Continued…

Had to get out a short section now that I've escaped the evils of the midterm.  I'll post more soon on the herd of fuzzies.

And your biology lesson for the day…

Prolactin makes you lactate (produce milk out the boob region).  And in men, there's another fun side effect that will be brought up later.  Or rather, not brought up.  (Impotence *cough-cough-snicker*)

Estrogen is responsible for female development in general.  Will cause breast growth.

Potassium permanganate is a purple crystal that will turn your skin a dark brown color if you touch it.  I learned this the hard way in organic chemistry lab.  My hands and arms were spotted for weeks.

Frogs are not mammals, therefore they do not have mammary glands and do not produce milk.

For anyone that cares about any German I'm using.  Counting to nine in German is as follows.  Ein, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs, sieben, acht, neun.  Just in case I get around to using that terminology.  The evil ringleader, Sechs, is number Six, if anyone is still reading this.  The number was chosen because it sounds like Zechs from Gundam Wing.  ^_^


	9. Noodles?

Drei

Part 9

By Mieren

And find out the hard way the Brotherhood did.  Pietro was safe since no one knew where he was.  Toad similarly made himself scarce, a bit smarter than his comrades gave him credit for.

Luckily for everyone involved, the Wagners had abandoned their fascination with dangerous chemicals.  Unfortunately, they now seemed enraptured with explosives.  And noodles.  No one ever quite figured out how they did it, but the fuzzy group managed to collect over eleven hundred pounds of rancid pasta and a large amount of what Beast and Forge later insisted was C4.  The result was a noodle bomb that sent pasta flying over a mile into the air and in every direction known to mankind.  The city of Bayville rained noodles for ten minutes.

The police department nearly went insane.  After a mob of city folk descended on them with torches and pitchforks, they decided to convict anyone they found on the noodle bomb just to placate the masses.  A quick investigation, involving them walking to the center of the blast radius, found them at the Boardinghouse.  Tabby, Fred and Lance were immediately arrested.

Needless to say, the day royally sucked for anyone who had a convertible with the top down at that particular time.  Joggers had to spend hours in the shower to get rid of the stench.  The schools were closed.  The roads were closed.  The city was infested with endless pigeons after a free meal.  The carwash industry made a record profit that week.

Everyone knew that the blue fuzzballs were responsible, but no one could actually prove it.  There was no concrete evidence that anyone could find or was even willing to look for in the first place for fear of drawing the wrath of the blue ones.  The professor was unable to read the chaos of their joint minds, so he couldn't pin them either.  As a result, Xavier was unable to punish them.  For that stunt anyways.  Once he was back down to one person, he would be spending almost every waking hour in the Danger Room.  Storm wanted to drag them kicking and screaming to train so they would burn off some energy, but decided against it since they were still so uncoordinated.  She didn't want them to get hurt in the Danger Room.  If they were injured, she was going to do it herself.

*     *     *

The Nightcrawler clones were clustered in their room.  Somehow or another, they all managed to fit in there.  Sleeping bags were everywhere.  Needless to say, Sechs got the bed.  In deference to the complaints they had received from the rest of the residents of the mansion, they had stopped communicating with each other mentally.  The pseudo telepathic ability seemed to be creeping everyone out, so they were speaking normally to each other.  That had been the easiest of their tasks.

They were busy relearning how to fine-tune their movements without copying each other.  Each fuzzy one was trying to do something different simultaneously.  One was on the computer, typing.  Another was trying to catch pieces of candy that a third was lobbing at him.  Four more were alternating between mock fighting and various gymnastics.  One was trying to build a tower out of cards and had made it to eight levels when he accidentally knocked everything down, so he started over.

The final fuzzy, the ringleader Sechs, was doing his best to mess the others up.  He was projecting his thoughts clearly and making drastic movements that would be extremely counterproductive to anything the others were doing.  He was to blame for the typing errors, the fuzzy pyramid collapse, the cards falling and a piece of chocolate up a nose.

Slowly but surely, they were learning to function even with severe mental interference, only taking breaks to raid the kitchen at mealtimes and four or five times between each.  The fuzzballs had reached a point of coordination that was a little better than that of the average person.  They kept working on it, determined to get to the superhuman agility and dexterity that Kurt was famous for.  After all, unless they were functioning perfectly, some of the things they were planning would be next to impossible.

"Hey!" the Kurt at the computer exclaimed.  "They had to release the Brotherhood that they arrested.  Couldn't prove that they did it."

"They didn't," another commented wryly.

"Either way, they're out," Sechs said, amused.  "That means we owe them a visit."

"We're not quite up to challenging them physically yet."

"We can't 'port yet."

"Doesn't matter," Sechs interrupted.  "We outnumber them."  At that notion, they began to get into the mood to terrorize.

"Pietro has gone somewhere.  Toad is hiding from us.  It's just Boom Boom, Blob and Avalanche."

"Boom Boom won't hurt us.  I think…"

"Blob couldn't catch any of us if his life depended on it."

"And Avalanche…"

"We'll hogtie him and put him on the roof."

"And shave his head."

"And wax his butt crack."

Eight heads turned to face the source of the last comment.

"Wax?"

"Are you insane?"

"Hello?  Fur?  You remember the fur?  Wax and fur do not mix."

"Slime and fur don't mix either.  Good thing Toad's gone."

"Tonight then?"

"Ja.  Forge is pushing to get us to use his thing and 'port again."

"We have to put the fear of blue into them before Forge gets to us."

"Let's get 'em."

A train of blue fuzziness crept out through the window and disappeared into the night.

To Be Continued…

I figured that the last section was too short so I worked this up on a study break.  Thought that two ultra short sections should be as good as one normal one.  Right?  R&R!


	10. Plotting

Drei

Part 10

By Mieren

The Boarding House had been invaded by all nine of the fuzzy elves, taking over the rundown building in a sea of blue. For nearly an hour, explosions and maniacal laughter could be heard from a block away. No one was quite brave enough to see what the lunatics were up to and the two psychics of the mansion both looked too appalled to tell what they sensed. They only got a vague clue from the Professor.

"Cyclops, hide the duct tape."

"I'm going to hide my leg wax," Jean added under her breath.

"Should I hide mine too?" Kitty asked.

"Yours already found a new home," the redhead sighed. In the distance, an inhuman shriek sounded, accompanied by an earthquake. Kitty frowned.

"That was a little unmanly for losing some leg hair."

"That wasn't what was waxed," Jean muttered.

"Ew…"

Evan didn't even attempt to comment, too bent on giggling. Scott seemed amused that his rival had taken such a vicious hit, but at the same time was a little wary that he too would be targeted. The blue army had hit the mansion just as many times as they had the boardinghouse.

----------

After thoroughly traumatizing Boom Boom, Avalanche and Blob to the point of needing intense therapy, the blue brigade had decided that they'd done all the damage they could at the Boarding House and had returned to the Mansion, still in good moods. Upon entry to the main lobby, they found the better part of the residence there waiting on them, partially to check them for injuries and partially to think of ways to sedate them. They need not have worried overly. No one could take on nine blue demons without ending up duct taped to the ceiling and sedating medications would only get one or two before the rest ran for their furry lives, leaving them irked and in need of retaliation. Smartly, the present members of the mansion decided to pretend the raid on the Brotherhood House had never happened.

----------

It was the following dinner that turned out disastrous, or might have. A few minutes into eating, one of the blue boys had gotten an evil look on his face. Instantly, all nine had evil expressions that did not bode well. They started looking around the table, making sure to catch everyone's attention. The mansion population scattered, leaving the dining room at roughly mach speeds. The nine Nightcrawlers just smirked and continued eating.

"Told you," Vier laughed. "They creep easily."

"Good call," Zwei snickered. "One good look and we get all of dinner."

"How long do you think they'll put up with this?" Eine queried.

"Until they fix us or go insane," Sechs shrugged.

"That brings up a new problem," Acht sighed. "Can they fix this?"

"If not, we can adapt, right?" Neun asked.

"Do we want to?" Sechs asked. "Right now, we are an unstoppable force."

"That eats almost a hundred pounds of food a day and drives everyone insane," Sieben added in.

"Which is why this is fun!" Sechs chuckled.

"This could be unstable," Vier pointed out. "Especially if Forge tries anything again."

"We should probably give Forge the time to get this right before we destroy his lab again," Fünf said. "Last thing we need is twenty-seven of us running loose with absolutely no motor skills."

"Gott forbid that he set it on nine and we end up with eighty-one," Neun muttered.

"That's not even funny," Sieben muttered. "I don't trust his machines in the first place and that's definitely not helping."

"We could do something on our own," Acht offered.

"Like what? Teleporting into each other? We'd kill each other!" Zwei snapped.

"We don't need to port," Eine stated ominously. "We just need a little help."

"And who exactly could help us?" Sechs asked, irked.

"Kitty."

To Be Continued

Getting close to the end, I swear. Writer's block has been eating at me for all my fics. I know the section was short, but I thought that I should at least attempt to update. R&R!


End file.
